February 27, 2010

Beauty and a rose

I stared with bright-wide eyes at the beautiful rose underneath my window. Its velvety red petals perfectly surrounded its centre, opening, each new day, to reveal its awesome beauty. I couldn't very well leave it outside. I couldn't just ignore its beauty. No, instead i needed it by my side to marvel at it.
-The first day it stared at me proudly with its smooth, perfect petals.
-The second day it opened a little further much to my delight and admiration. Each time i passed it i would stop to smell it, and to proclaim the praises of my Creator who had created something this beautiful.
-The third day i was used to it. i noticed it less and less and didn't stop to admire, nor to smell it.
-By the fifth day my perfectly beautiful rose had begun wilting, increasingly losing its appeal.
-And by the sixth day, the once splendid and exquisite rose was reduced to nothing more than a stem with a few dying petals.

This is life, this is beauty...

Beauty will fade, that is a certainty; but knowledge, imaan, and good character- only improves with time.
Think about it then, which is a better investment?

image from: http://photo.net/photodb/photo?photo_id=7531414

February 23, 2010

Friendly friends or friendly foes

You know how mothers always say: “Friends are not important”, well to youngsters- they are! Sometimes a friend is what keeps you going and the thought of school or work without friends- well that’s just dreadful! But are your friends friendly friends or rather friendly foes?

Sometimes you get the friend who’s just your friend so that she can show off and boast. You know, she’s the one who’s got to make a point of mentioning all the goodies that daddy dearest bought for her. Anything you’ve got is not good enough and anything concerning you is just not interesting enough for her. Sometimes when you're around her your life seems small and inadequate. Friends like her, well they not really friends at all and you probably better off without her.

Then there’s the friend who loooves to gossip. Oh, she’ll be by your side and pretend to share your problems, but the minute you turn your back she’ll be telling all your problems to anyone who is willing to listen (which is usually everyone!). Its not even just you, she spreads gossip all over, relaying everybody’s secrets to everybody else. So how do you spot her? Well, if you have a friend who keeps telling you stories of everybody else, chances are that she’s telling everybody else stories about you!

The trickiest friendly foes are those who you only discover when a crisis occurs. They’re the friends who are by your side through all the good, but the minute you go through something bad, they’re quick to drop you like a hat. Unfortunately the only time you discover the truth is after the crisis has occurred- and then you have to deal with the additional ordeal of your friends betrayal. The silver lining is, however, that through the crisis you get to see who your true friends are, and that is a gift indeed.

True friends are the ones who keep us going. They support us, encourage us and lend a hand when we need it most. They may not be the most popular, beautiful, or rich; but they’re loyal and trustworthy and will support you no matter what.

Take a look at all your friends. Are they friendly friends or friendly foes? Will they be by your side when the ride gets bumpy, or will they be quick to jump ship? Will they give you good advice and lend you their shoulder to cry on, or will they relish gossiping about your problems?
Friends can make all the difference. So in this journey that we call life, make sure you’ve chosen the right companions.

Got more examples of friendly foes or friendly friends, hit the comments below!

February 20, 2010


Have you ever noticed how we all thrive on gossip? From gossip blogs, to gossiping about celebrities to TV shows like 'gossip girl'. Oh, the guilty pleasure of relaying tales, and the sinister satisfaction of putting each other down. Like it or not, gossip is something that we are all guilty of! And while we all may check ourselves when it comes to sinning, we somehow always seem to forget that gossip is a very big sin!

Think about it for a moment. Think about how many lives gossip has ruined. Think about how many relationships gossip has strained. Gossip is like a sharp blade that cuts into the vey core of unity and sisterhood. And even though, deep down, we know that gossiping is wrong- we still continue doing it!

Im sure that each of us has been at the receiving end of gossip. Im sure that we have all felt the pain and humiliation of it. So why, when we know and remember how we felt, should we do it to others? Gossiping is described as eating the flesh of another. Why would we want to eat each others flesh? It is so bad that the Prophet (S.A.W) has warned us in detail about it.

The Prophet (S.A.W) said to his companions: "Do you know what backbiting is?" They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He then said, "It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike." Someone asked him, "But what if what I say is true?" The Messenger of Allah said, "If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him." [Muslim]

Imagine a world where we didn't gossip about each other. A world where secrets were safe and we all didnt strive to find fault in each other. This world is not just possible, it is within our reach. So lets reach out and try to attain it. Let us guard our tounges and watch our words. Let us honour our friendships and strive to see good in others. And when our fellow sisters are down- lets not kick them further; lets rather extend our arm and help lift them up. Im going to try, will you...?

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is The One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" [Noble Quran 49:12]

What's going on with this blog?

For any of those who have been visiting the blog lately, you will have noticed that some changes have been made to the template. Well, what can i say- I'm at it again. Due to my slightly obsessive compulsive nature- I decided that the old look of the blog (which was new a couple of days ago) was...well... untidy. I need everything to be neat and tidy, and on its place. The previous template, while i thought it was all bright and cheery, just turned out to be too messy.

So why am i explaining all of this to you? well, because if you're here again then I assume that you actually like this blog and would have noticed all the changes. It can be disconcerting- what with finding a new look every week; so i thought I'd explain it to you, and assure you that the new look and template (the one i just added right now) is here to stay.

I tried to get a template for girl talk 786 that reflected its personality and aims- but whatever i found just didn't seem to fit. So now, i decided to stick with a look that reflects me and my personality. I chose what I like, and i hope you guys like it too. Now I know that you're probably sitting and saying: "Well who cares?" You're right, There is probably nobody who cares about the fact that I keep chopping and changing the templates of girl talk... But on the off chance that you do care, and on the off chance that you were thinking: "Wow this chick is such a scatter brain!" Well, now that I've clarified it- I hope you understand!

Hope you guys enjoy the new look. Hope you enjoy the blog. Hope you remain supporters, read and reflect on the posts, and comment when you feel like it. Hope you enjoy your weekend too.

I leave you in peace, and hope to find you again in peace.

February 16, 2010

Who are we really?

Ask yourself this question: Who am I?
Who are you really? I don't mean who your friends think you are. and i definitely don't mean who your parents think you are. Rather who are you, to you...? What is your essence? What are you made of?

I struggled with this when I was growing up.I was lost and confused, trying to figure myself out but at the same time unaware of it. Does this make any sense? To my friends i was the version of me that i thought they wanted. So even though i had an introverted nature; their version of me was that i was loud, friendly and sociable- so to them this is who I was. To my parents i was a quiet, obedient child who did her own thing and never got into trouble- so to them this is who i was. What i really was (what i came to discover only later in life) was that i was a mixture of all of this and so much more. But because everybody fitted me into a mould of what made sense to them, that's what i did to myself too. I didn't even realise how unfair i was being to myself and to others who cared, closing myself off and categorising myself into little boxes.

So now that i know who I am, and now that I understand that i am different aspects of so many things, its easy for me to look back and understand that i really never knew who i was.

So I'm asking you now. who are you? who are you really? take a moment and think about it. I know that you'll never really fully know it because we learn new things about ourselves constantly- but try to figure out who you are now, and don't be afraid to let others figure it out too. Real friends will always stick by you- no matter what differences you may have. Allah (SWT) created us all differently. What gives anyone the right to claim superiority? Human beings should be celebrated for all of their intricate differences. (who wants a whole world of the same kind people anyway?) Figure out who you are; figure out what you're made of and then, when you do, dont be afraid to shine!

February 10, 2010

Sometimes silence is even better...

So since people have been commenting on the post 'its hard to say I'm sorry' and since this is an interestingly debatable subject, I decided to highlight it a little bit more.

My sister had an argument with her husband. It was nothing serious, just the usual complaints you hear from married people. Now, after days of fighting, after arguing with her husband and unloading her mind- now do you know what she says: that she should have just kept quiet. Now i know its difficult, I mean really- I know. (Even worse so when you happen to have a big mouth like me...) But the thing is that when you talk and when you say what's on your mind- even if you know you're right; it seldom ever makes things any better. Now my sister's husband is angrier than before due to all the things that she said to him. So here's the question right: Even though you may know that you're right, and even though you feel like you need to get if off your chest; when it causes more problems in your marriage, with your family or with your friends; is it really worth it? Is the triumph of a good argument or the satisfaction in blowing off steam worth ruining a relationship???

So what can you do then? When you feel that you're being wronged in a certain way; when you feel like you desperately need to vent so that you can feel better; and when you feel like your mind is about to explode; if you can't tell the person in question (due to fear that it will make things worse) what do you do? well, I'm no expert but if you like, you can try some of the methods i use:

1. Always start with dua. Sometimes when things get a bit tough i just sit on my musalla and talk to my Creator. It really helps. Tell Allah your problems (sure, Allah already knows it but it will help you feel better.) Ask Allah for patience and for guidance. Beg, cry and be sincere... I promise that when you're done, you'll feel much better.

2. Talk to someone who you know will give you good advice. Its no use telling someone just so that they can echo your own sentiments. Speak to someone wise who will give you good, logical advice. Sometimes they'll help you come up with solutions that you never thought of before.

3. If you feel that you still need to tell the person in question how much something is bothering you, make sure you do it when you're cool and calm. It doesn't help when you scream and cry because your points and arguments gets muddled up. Choose a good time to speak about it, when both parties are calm and there's more of a likelihood that the person will listen and think about all you say.

4. Stay away from the accusing phrases like 'you did this or that' and rather use phrases like 'I feel that...' You'll be surprised at how much more effective they are.

5. Try your best to swallow your pride and swallow your words. Not only will it make your Creator happy, but it will make you a better person too. (and that's a satisfaction that never wears off...)

As usual, post your thoughts, opinions and criticism...

February 7, 2010

No Apologies

You know I can understand when non-Muslim women question the way in which we dress. I understand that they cannot fathom why we would cover our hair and why we would wear modest clothing; I get that. What I don’t get is when our own Muslim sisters question it. Worse still is when older Muslim women, women who should know better, throw around remarks like “you’ll never get a husband.”

I started wearing hijaab when I was 15 years old. I was young, still in high school, and still concerned with my looks. So, at that time, it really wasn’t very easy. My so called friends didn’t want to be my friends anymore (Alhamdulillah, I found better ones); and as for boys liking me; well that went down dramatically since I was clearly no longer appealing. (That was better for me too...) The thing is that when you make a decision, when Your Allah guides you- well then nobody else really matters.

When you’re young, people have certain expectations of what you should be like: you should go out a lot; you should be ‘young, hip and modern’; you should be fashionable. When you choose not to fit into this mould, into this box; well then people begin to get hostile. Then you’re bound to hear comments like “Shame, you’re such a good girl” (said in an ever- so-condescending term); or “how will you ever find a husband?” All of this probably makes it that much harder for someone who is trying to get closer to Allah. So for all those sisters out there; sisters who, despite the consensus, are trying to do what they know their Allah will be pleased with; well for you I say- do it with no apologies!

-To all those aunties who belittle the beautiful young women who are trying to be modest, well for them- no apologies!
-To all those men out there who would turn a woman down because she covers her head, for you- no apologies!
-And to all those people who make muslimahs feel inadequate because they choose to cover their hair or faces, for you we make no apologies.

Even if its tough, even if people look at you're differently; even if you're only one among the many; stand tall; be proud and make no apologies.
May Allah make it easy for all of us Insha-Allah. Ameen

February 2, 2010

Vampire Crazy!!!

Can somebody please explain the whole Vampire craze to me??? Please!!! Ok, sure- i know that i should be the last one to talk, what with being a self-proclaimed Buffy addict and all, but seriously Buffy the Vampire Slayer was actually good! And it really wasn't as crazy as the crap that's out these days! But somehow still the Vampire craze is at it again and I really really don't get it. Whats the charm with Vampires anyway? They dead? They cold? They drink blood. And can they really be all that much more handsome than ordinary guys?
We must be living in a really sick world if the only way to snag your dream man is to let him kill you - and then live the rest of eternity amongst the undead eating and drinking animals! Eew!!! At least Buffy never even contemplated becoming a vampire to live in 'undead' bliss with Angel- it never even struck her mind. They wanna call themselves liberated and yet they give us a character like Bella Swan. Gosh, she's gotta be the worst protagonist ever.(I'm talking of all 4 books here so for those who are enjoying the movies, the following contains spoilers). Lets recap the character of Bella Swan and all her 'Liberated' goodness:
  1. Her whole world comes to a halt the minute she meets Edward.
  2. She basically gives up all her friends and immerses herself in his life (Ok fine, we'll let this one slide since she wasn't really that good friends with them anyway.)
  3. When he leaves she totally and completely falls to pieces and the only time she starts recovering is when she becomes friends with Jacob (another guy!!!)
  4. She risks her life on numerous occasions just so that she can get a glimpse (yeah, how dumb was that too!) of Edward.
  5. She continuously begs him to make her a vampire so than she can live happily ever after with him. Oh, and here's what that would entail:
-she will have to die (of course).
-the death and transformation will be a seriously painful ordeal.
-the transformation, for a duration of time, will make her like an animal, unable to control herself and she will, if let loose (a great possibility because she'll be stronger than any other vampire) be a danger to humanity.
-since this is all a secret she will not be able to see her friends or family again (poor parents, imagin what an ordeal!).
-she will have no taste for food! (Particularly horrendous for me-I would never choose a guy over chocolate!!!
Oh, and why she is doing all this again? Not for some greater good? Not for some meaningful purpose? Not for an All- Powerful Creator. Nope, just for a guy!!!
                                     Oh, yeah- and we're the opressed ones...
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