The Difference between Girls and Boys

This morning, while picking my niece up from school, My sister and I were discussing the differences between boys and girls.

One of my niece's girlfriends was crying because some girls didn't want to be her friend. It was while giving her some tips and lessons on dealing with friends, that i remarked about how soft the heart of a girl is.
Think about it, how easy is it for us to cry when we are hurting or even worried? How quickly can we feel sympathy for others? How soon do we feel guilty when we hurt others? Allah (SWT) in His infinite mercy has created us this way. And women truly are a different species from men.

Now I know some men are more in touch with their feelings than others. And I know that other men are unnecessarily harsh, but I also know that the heart of a woman is unlike anything imaginable.

I cannot fully comprehend why it is that we live in a society in which being soft and emotional is a bad thing! Why is it that the fact that we can cry so willingly is seen as a form of weakness? I don't think it's a weakness, I think that its a strength really. I mean, imagine a woman who couldn't cry. Imagine a woman that wasnt soft and emotional. Imagine a home devoid of  the loving touch of a woman. Imagine a world filled with only men.

Men and women were created differently. They compliment each other in the most wonderful ways. What the woman can pride herself on, the man may be lacking. And man's natural Allah- given abilities are not found in women. This is the true beauty of all our differences... that together, two separates, two counterparts, make a unified whole.

Truly, Allah Most High is certainly the Most Wise and All Knowing! Alhamdulillah.

Life and Death

I was sitting at a funeral house, 2 days after the funeral, when a realisation suddenly came over me: 'Life goes on!'

The grandfather of the house (an old family friend) had suffered from a stroke and passed away. The Funeral was on Thursday. This day, the day I came to this obvious but striking realisation, was Saturday. My family had been invited to read Quraan and eat supper, along with enough guests to fill the very big house.

Now I've never really suffered a big loss. My parents both came from broken homes and my grandparents were never really a big part of my life (well, the deceased ones anyway). I guess because of this, I dont really understand the conflicting feelings that the bereaved have to deal with. What I expected was to find the family somber and tearful, instead I was greeted with a very different sight. Seriously, it just did not look like a funeral house. Now im sure that the family were all just putting on brave faces for all their guests; and I do not doubt that they really truly were grieving, but listening to all the chattering conversations, and staring at all the smiling faces, well I guess it just brought me to that all important realisation- that life truly does go on!

I realized the reality of the fact that each man is born alone, and will die truly alone. And once you down there- six feet under- nobody knows what you're going through. So why is it that we tend to spend so much time living for this life, and so little time preparing for our final abode? How come all we care about is our relationship with others, and we forget to care about our relationship with Allah. After all, isn't Allah (SWT) the only Being who is always with us???

Back to this event though. The eldest granddaughter just received a proposal, and all the talks with the 2 families are currently going on. So there I was sitting and listening to them discuss this soon to be son-in-law and I couldn't help thinking further about how life so easily carries on without you. Soon this family will be holding a different type of event, a wedding (insha Allah), and their lives will begin to head in a very different direction (one filled with new spouses and new births). And though the grandfather will live on in their hearts and minds, their lives will most assuredly continue.

Ok, so I know you're thinking 'yeah- this is obvious', well you're right it is all obvious. After all nobody expects life to stand still after the death of a loved one right? Its just that sometimes we get so stuck working and toiling for this life, that it comes as a shocker when you actually witness how quickly life can just continue. Im starting to ramble, so I better wrap this up!

I guess my point is that we all need to spend a little more time improving our relationship with Allah. And while we must, no doubt, have good relationships with others, we must still realize that, without us around, life inevitably goes on... that should bring us down a notch or two dont you think...?

image from: http://stavangerphotobytanty.blogspot.com/2007/05/muslim-graveyard.html

Blog Awards

Wow! Thanks fellow sister bloggers for the 2 generous awards that I've received.

The first one that I got was from Blue Pearl... thanks sis!

The second one (the sunshine award) was from Khadijah... appreciate it!

It's so nice to be part of a blogging community, with sisters extending their hands to other sisters- supporting and encouraging them! Thanks to all of those sisters who have enriched my blogging experience with support and comments. And as for all those sisters without blogs... I wanna be the first to follow you all, so c'mon what are you waiting for???

Now, according to the rules of the first award, I have to post about where I see myself in ten years time. Hmm... this got me thinking!

I've started on a road of self discovery and connection... trying to discover and enhance my character, and connect with the One who has created me. In 10 years time I hope to have walked further along that road... Insha Allah!

In ten years time I also hope to be helping others; to be a wiser muslimah; to learn more about the life of my beloved Prophet (S.A.W) and the lives of his companions; to be more forgiving, patient, and generous. Insha Allah Ameen!

On a lighter note, in ten years I see myself teaching, hopping, skipping, playing, dancing and jumping around with all my nieces and nephews (by then there'll probably be enough for 2 soccer teams! insha Allah!); having petty (but loud) arguments with my sisters; being irritated by my brothers; and pitying the heads of my exceedingly crazy family- my parents! :)

I hope to sit back, 10 years from now, that much wiser and better, and look back to the past 10 years with no worries and no regrets. Insha Allah Ameen.

............................................................................................

Ok, so now I'm supposed to pass the awards on to others, who are then supposed to pass it on to others... pay it forward and all of that! So since I'm passing it on to blogs that I like and follow, I decided to just pass along both awards at the same time... So if you get any of these awards for the second or third time, well... just take it as a compliment k!

Here's a list of others that im passing it along to: (in alphabetical order)

1. Changing my world @  http://randommuslima.blogspot.com/
2. Fee qalbee @ http://feeqalbee.wordpress.com/
3. Hijab diaries @ http://hijab-diaries.blogspot.com/ 
4. How to deal @ http://how-2-deal.blogspot.com/
5. Reviving the Sunnah @ http://revivingthesunnah.blogspot.com/ 
6. Sisters who blog @ http://sisterswhoblog.ning.com/
7. Spotlight on Islam @ http://spotlight-on-islam.blogspot.com/
8. Wiser, miss tweet blue pearl @ http://bluepearlfun.blogspot.com/ (passing it back on)


For those of you who would like to pass it on and actually follow all the rules of it, here they are listed below:
Sunshine Blog Award:
Put the logo on your blog in your post.
Pass the award onto 12 bloggers.
Link the nominees within your post.
Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blogs.
Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

The 'you're going places' award:
Pass it on to 10 other bloggers
tell all where you see yourself in 10 years time.

Weekly Wise Words: The sometimes nature of man

Only Allah's will

Yesterday, after coming from a funeral, my sister got mugged. She was in the car with her husband when they stopped at a red robot. Suddenly a few guys approached the car, pointed a gun at them and demanded their phone and wallet. Shocking right? Well, here's another shocker... My brothers and I drove on that exact same road (maybe even stopped at that exact robot) only a few minutes later. (We all live in the same neighbourhood and were all driving home in separate cars after the funeral). So what's the difference then I wonder. How come they didn't stop us? Well the obvious conclusion is that it just wasn't the will of Allah, right?

It's like the difference between two patients. They lie side by side in the hospital. Both of them have the same sickness, both of them get the same treatment, yet only one of them gets cured. Why? Well obviously its just Allah's will.Nobody knows why Allah wills things a certain way. Allah (SWT) is the Most Wise and All Knowing. So we can't even begin to fathom the ways in which Allah (SWT) works.

The frustrating thing is that even though we realize this, we are so quick to give recognition to others when things occur. So when that doctor cures that first patient- everybody will rejoice and marvel at the doctor's brilliant skills and his awesome intelligence. At times like that we forget to realize that the patient was only cured by Allah's will. Sure the doctor treated him. But the treatment only worked because Allah willed it to work. Sometimes we tend to forget this, and we give all the recognition to the doctor and the hospital, and fail to recognize the True Healer whose will always comes to pass.

But back to my story now... My sister is all well and fine (maybe just a little shaken up) and Alhamdulillah (again, only by Allah's will) the guys just got away with a cell phone and a wallet (which, let's face it- is much less valuable than human life). Why Allah wills things this way, only Allah knows. Why some of us have to hit a few roadblocks every now and again, only Allah knows. Why Allah prevents the same things from happening to others, again only Allah knows. One thing I know for sure is that Allah (SWT) truly is sufficient as a Helper for us all and definitely the only One that we ever need to turn to.

Two Hearts Apart status update

Okay, so for those of you who know my other blog, the story blog 'Two Hearts Apart', it will be resuming on Monday 12 July 2010 with a brand new Part 2. Here's a little rundown for those who may need a reminder.

Two Hearts Apart is a story blog that focuses on a romance between Zahraa and Zaheer. In Part 1 we were introduced to the different characters. We saw how they became attracted to each other and how, amidst their evolving romance, they were determined not to disobey Allah's commands. Thus we found them setting boundaries while storming the seas of teen romance. If you haven't read it before and it seems interesting, go read it now at: http://twoheartsapart.blogspot.com/

In Part 2 we will deal with a time jump- in which years have passed and the two protagonists have drifted apart. Will they reconnect? What are they up to now? What will happen next? Well, you'll just have to wait and read now wont you!

The 'If factor'

Earlier on I was thinking about last night's Ghana game and a very silly thought went through my head. I thought, what if that guy just hadn't missed the goal for the penalty kick, then Ghana would have won!

Then I realised that it was all just so silly because what has happened has already happened. There's no turning back the clock on life... and there's certainly no room for the 'if factor'. This then got me thinking about the whole if factor and how it can destroy you (yes, I know... sometimes my mind works overtime!)

See, Islam teaches us that we shouldn't waste our time questioning what might have been. We shouldn't sit and contemplate what could have happened 'if' circumstances were different. No, rather we are to accept our situation, find the solution and then simply move on.

The 'if factor' just makes life that much more unbearable. So if your child dies in an accident you'll be sitting and thinking: "Well, imagine if she never got into the car in the first place". Then instead of accepting the death and trying to deal with it, you'll be stuck in this continuous warped cycle of 'what if'. It will just make things worse!

So instead of wasting precious time contemplating the various 'what ifs', let us all realize that we should rather turn our attention towards Allah, ask sincerely of only Him, understand that all things happen for a reason, bear our burdens with patience, and try our utmost to behave in a manner that Allah (SWT) will be pleased with. Insha Allah!

Weekly Wise Words: Remembrance of Allah