March 14, 2010


You know it, I know it... we all know it! Sometimes its hard not to look at others with envy and jealousy. Especially when what you envy is something you've always wanted. So how do we deal with envy, and for starters- what is envy?

Envy can best be described as wanting what others have, even to the extent that you begin to secretly wish that they could lose it. Envy ruins good relationships and severs the ties of sisterhood. After all, how can you love someone when you secretly envy all their good fortune...? The problem with envy is that we tend to forget that all that good fortune has been bestowed to that person by Allah. So when we envy them what we are really saying is that we are unhappy with Allah's decree, and that's not good at all!!!

In reality envy make us sick- i mean literally, it actually makes us sick. A heart full of envy is like a diseased heart and you can easily notice the person who that heart belongs to. That person is usually unhappy- always complaining about their current situation; they are always looking for fault in others; and they never seem to have peace and contentment- well, that's what a diseased heart can do to you!

I know that's its difficult, sometimes you cant help feeling a twinge of envy for something that someone else has- but trying to restrain and prevent that envy from spreading- that will then be our test. So when you see that your frenemy's got something new and cool that you really like- DONT speak bad about her; DONT try to find fault with what she has and DONT try to make her feel bad about herself! Rather be quiet; swallow your feelings; talk to your Creator and try to be nice to her. Sounds like a good remedy, yes?

Here's a quick little checklist for you. Scholars of Islam have categorised different categories of enviers. so when you think that you might possess a little envy, do a little check to see where you're at. Then at each different moment keep checking to see how far you've progressed.

1. The first category is that wherein you feel envy and hatred for someone to such an extent that you actually try to remove that bounty from her. You cannot bear to see her with her good fortune and you probably sit and devise schemes to help you in you effort.

2. The second category is when you desperately try to get that bounty for yourself. You feel that you want what that person has, and not only do you hope that she can lose it, but also that you can rather have it.

3. Then there's the situation when you don't act on your envy but you are aware that you are envious, and you are neither ashamed nor displeased by those thoughts. basically, your jealousy doesn't bother you.

4. You feel envy for someone but you really don't like that feeling. In this case you know that your envious feelings are wrong and you dislike it in yourself. (This type of envy is not considered as sinful;)

5. You recognize your envy and you try your very best to remove it- whether by seeking Allah's help, chastising yourself constantly and even going as far as to be extra nice to that person (in attempt to combat those negative feelings). This is probably the best stage of envy since the envier is actually taking steps in order to remove it.

Abu Hurairah said that Rasulullah saw said : "Beware of envy, for envy devours good (deeds) like fire devours firewood". ( Abu Dawud )

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