Weekly Wise Words: The sometimes nature of man

Only Allah's will

Yesterday, after coming from a funeral, my sister got mugged. She was in the car with her husband when they stopped at a red robot. Suddenly a few guys approached the car, pointed a gun at them and demanded their phone and wallet. Shocking right? Well, here's another shocker... My brothers and I drove on that exact same road (maybe even stopped at that exact robot) only a few minutes later. (We all live in the same neighbourhood and were all driving home in separate cars after the funeral). So what's the difference then I wonder. How come they didn't stop us? Well the obvious conclusion is that it just wasn't the will of Allah, right?

It's like the difference between two patients. They lie side by side in the hospital. Both of them have the same sickness, both of them get the same treatment, yet only one of them gets cured. Why? Well obviously its just Allah's will.Nobody knows why Allah wills things a certain way. Allah (SWT) is the Most Wise and All Knowing. So we can't even begin to fathom the ways in which Allah (SWT) works.

The frustrating thing is that even though we realize this, we are so quick to give recognition to others when things occur. So when that doctor cures that first patient- everybody will rejoice and marvel at the doctor's brilliant skills and his awesome intelligence. At times like that we forget to realize that the patient was only cured by Allah's will. Sure the doctor treated him. But the treatment only worked because Allah willed it to work. Sometimes we tend to forget this, and we give all the recognition to the doctor and the hospital, and fail to recognize the True Healer whose will always comes to pass.

But back to my story now... My sister is all well and fine (maybe just a little shaken up) and Alhamdulillah (again, only by Allah's will) the guys just got away with a cell phone and a wallet (which, let's face it- is much less valuable than human life). Why Allah wills things this way, only Allah knows. Why some of us have to hit a few roadblocks every now and again, only Allah knows. Why Allah prevents the same things from happening to others, again only Allah knows. One thing I know for sure is that Allah (SWT) truly is sufficient as a Helper for us all and definitely the only One that we ever need to turn to.

Two Hearts Apart status update

Okay, so for those of you who know my other blog, the story blog 'Two Hearts Apart', it will be resuming on Monday 12 July 2010 with a brand new Part 2. Here's a little rundown for those who may need a reminder.

Two Hearts Apart is a story blog that focuses on a romance between Zahraa and Zaheer. In Part 1 we were introduced to the different characters. We saw how they became attracted to each other and how, amidst their evolving romance, they were determined not to disobey Allah's commands. Thus we found them setting boundaries while storming the seas of teen romance. If you haven't read it before and it seems interesting, go read it now at: http://twoheartsapart.blogspot.com/

In Part 2 we will deal with a time jump- in which years have passed and the two protagonists have drifted apart. Will they reconnect? What are they up to now? What will happen next? Well, you'll just have to wait and read now wont you!

The 'If factor'

Earlier on I was thinking about last night's Ghana game and a very silly thought went through my head. I thought, what if that guy just hadn't missed the goal for the penalty kick, then Ghana would have won!

Then I realised that it was all just so silly because what has happened has already happened. There's no turning back the clock on life... and there's certainly no room for the 'if factor'. This then got me thinking about the whole if factor and how it can destroy you (yes, I know... sometimes my mind works overtime!)

See, Islam teaches us that we shouldn't waste our time questioning what might have been. We shouldn't sit and contemplate what could have happened 'if' circumstances were different. No, rather we are to accept our situation, find the solution and then simply move on.

The 'if factor' just makes life that much more unbearable. So if your child dies in an accident you'll be sitting and thinking: "Well, imagine if she never got into the car in the first place". Then instead of accepting the death and trying to deal with it, you'll be stuck in this continuous warped cycle of 'what if'. It will just make things worse!

So instead of wasting precious time contemplating the various 'what ifs', let us all realize that we should rather turn our attention towards Allah, ask sincerely of only Him, understand that all things happen for a reason, bear our burdens with patience, and try our utmost to behave in a manner that Allah (SWT) will be pleased with. Insha Allah!

Weekly Wise Words: Remembrance of Allah

Run away!

I wonder... is it just a girl thing to stick our noses in problems that just simply do not belong to us? I mean, what is it with us? Take me for example, I'm going happily along my way, minding my own happy business when I (as in my stupid half) decide that I must go and intervene in someone else's problems! Why? Because I feel that I'm level- headed and can actually make a difference? Or is it becasue I'm nosy and I just like getting involved...? And then, while I was on my own merry way before, I now suddenly become involved in an entangling drama. The worst part is that I'll be the first one to complain when there's too much drama in my life! Eish!

So I'm learning my lesson for once and for all. The next time there's something going on that doesn't concern me, I'm not just walking away... I'm running... like really really fast! Why cause unnecessary drama to your own life? It just doesn't make any sense.

Most of us are probably guilty of this too. When we walk midway into a conversation between others, we always have to ask: "What are you talking about? What's going on?" Chances are that it probably doesn't concern us... so why get involved right?
Didn't the Prophet (S.A.W) say something to the effect that the beauty of a man's imaan is to leave what doesn't concern him? hmm... that gets you thinking right?

So from now on I'm going to try my hardest to be as 'uninvolved' as possible. I can already imagine what a peaceful life I'll have if, amidst all the drama drama drama, I simply walk away...!

Weekly Wise Words: Quraan and Salaah

Special you...

What is it about us girls that makes us think that our value should be weighed according to the opinion of others? You know what I'm talking about right?
When I was in high school I had a friend who constantly complained that she was ugly. The crazy thing was that she was really quite pretty. OK, so she was no supermodel, but she definitely wasn't ugly! You wanna know why she thought she was ugly, well it was just because the boys never liked her.
Now I know that in high school its natural to weigh your beauty according to how many guys like you, but now that I'm older (and hopefully wiser) I just don't see the sense in it. Let me tell you why:

1. Boys like girls for many different reasons. they're also known to like the ones that are 'easy'. That doesn't make those girls any prettier, does it?
2. Most High school boys couldn't tell a good quality girl from a stinky sock. Lets face it, most of them are really stupid!
3. High school girls are really stupid to assume that just because someone never noticed their beauty, it means that there is no beauty at all. We all have our own unique qualities that make us special and wonderful. How well can the guys really know us after 5 seconds of checking us out???

You see we shouldn't give others the power to influence our perception of ourselves. Ok, so sure sometimes we may need people's criticism to help us become better people. But we cant let peoples opinions of us shape our own opinions of ourselves. If we do then we will so easily be broken when others try to break us. And we will be constantly seeking the approval of others, to make us feel better about ourselves.

I'm writing this because I'm sitting here and thinking about a relative who's having problems with her teenage daughter. As I consider the impact of  a guy on the mind of a young woman, I feel truly sorry for all those young girls who lack self esteem, and who so desperately cling to the attention that they get from a guy- attention that makes them feel so good about themselves. So to all you young girls out there, I beg you to be strong. This attention is an addictive drug. Don't get addicted! Understand well that you have special qualities, and that you don't need anyone to make you realize that!

Girl Talk changes

Let's face it ok, we're all girls here. Every now and again we need a little change. Whether its a new shade of lipstick, a new hairdo, a new type of hijaab, or some new clothes- we reach a point where we're begging for change.

So, in the same fashion, this is what's going on here. Girl Talk has gone on a shopping spree and has emerged (in true 'Pretty Woman' style), with some new clothes. The posts are still the same, the blog is still the same, it just has a brand new look (again!)

Ok, so not everything is the same. In an attempt to provide some interesting reading material, I've added a new page. This page, aptly entitled 'interesting reads' can be found on the right side at the very top of this page.
'Interesting reads' will display not just interesting articles that I've come across, but also discussions of books (or any other reading material) that I think you would find enjoyable. Sound good?

So sit back, relax and return for some more good reads, insha Allah!

P.S. If you happen to think that Girl Talk 786 could do with some more changes (like focusing on specific content or adding something else that'll make it better) please feel free to let me know.

Weekly Wise Words: From among Allah's signs...

You can do anything

I spent the morning painting- the walls, not canvas. And well, what do you know- I actually managed to do it. Ok so that sounds really silly, let me explain!

When I was younger, and actually wanted to join in on the painting and fixing that my elder siblings were doing- I was simply told that painting was too hard. "Well, it doesn't look to difficult" I would protest, but they would simply reply that painting was indeed more complex and tougher than I could imagine.
Fine, that was that. I closed myself off to the idea that I could ever do it.

So when my younger brother begged me to help him paint, I instantly told him that I couldn't. "I don't know how to paint", I told him- "I'll mess up all the walls."
He argued that painting was easy and that I would be able to do it. He argued so hard and so much that I decided to give in and go and try it out.
That's when I was pleasantly surprised- it turned out to be not- so- difficult after all! In fact, despite my lack of painting skills, the room really looks nice!

You see sometimes in life people scare you without even realising it. In this case my siblings were all probably right- I probably was too young too paint! But, inadvertently even, my mind somehow started believing that I could never ever do it- even though I was now far older.

That's the thing about life, that's the thing about us all. There are so many things that we all think we just can't do. But if there's another human like us out there who can do it- then why can't we? We are all capable of doing anything that we want to. But we tell ourselves constantly that we can't. We can't run marathons, we can't do so well, we can't learn quraan, we can't write books. The list goes on and on.
So let me ask you now! Why can't we?
If we open up our minds to the possibility that we could achieve what we want, we might just to discover that the thing we always thought we could never do, actually turns out to be something attainable and enjoyable...

Sisters

You know that old saying: 'cant live with them, cant live without them', well I don't know what it originally applied to- but it really rings true when it comes to sisters. You really cant live with them or without them! Sheesh...what can we do right?

I mean amidst cat fights, screaming tantrums, tears and continuous arguments (all that you could really do without) you have to admit that at some point or another, we all need our sisters. And well, because we need them- we have to sometimes stop ourselves from tipping them over board! :)

The only ones who can truly appreciate the value of sisterhood; the comfort in knowing that you always have someone to talk to, to fight with and to get advice from, are those who don't have sisters. They are the ones who feel the slight stab of loneliness and wish that they had a sister by their side to share their lives with.

So yes, while I know that they sometimes make you want to pull your hair out or scream crazy blue murder- we really shouldn't take them for granted, and we really should appreciate them. Because despite their flaws and despite their irritations, they really are quite irreplaceable.

image from: http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/photo/1377510155052059120PUjhOC

Weekly Wise Words: Words of Advice

Something easy we can do...

The world is going crazy. Everybody is talking about the cartoons, some passionately arguing against it- others throwing around convenient words like 'freedom of speech'. Some Muslims are arguing that its ok (seriously though- how can it ever be ok to insult our beloved Prophet (S.A.W)- and yes caricatures of him IS an insult and sense of humour has to stop somewhere!...) while some non muslims are strongly condemning the actions of people who are clearly only trying to stir up trouble, and make some money.

For me it is evident that the hatred of Muslims is only spreading like wildfire. I mean why even draw the Prophet (S.A.W) when you absolutely know that its going to offend so many people? Furthermore when in the world has anyone ever banned an article of clothing with religious connotations? Scratch that, when has anyone ever banned any item of clothing on such a mass scale ever? What is going on with the world?
If we cannot see what is beginning to happen we really have to start opening our eyes. Because sooner than later, being a Muslim (in public) is going to become very very difficult.

And just like the cartoon issue has managed to reach our shores, so too will everything else intensify and expand.

But I digress- since this was not my original topic of discussion. What I wanted to discuss is something so small and so easy that we can do. While they mock and criticise our beloved Messenger (S.A.W); that same messenger who was so worried about US (his Ummah); that messenger who is most beloved to our Creator; that messenger who was the light of this world; we can try, in which ever way we can, to get closer to him. Let the world move further and further apart from him, and by extension- Allah's mercy; but let us move closer.

Let's start reviving his sunnah, lets read some extra durood, lets study his life and character (even if we just read a little a day). Lets teach our children about this wonderful messenger (S.A.W) and try to instill his teachings into their, and our lives. Everything he did or said will only improve the quality of our lives. and all of his teachings will only allow us to reach a higher state of imaan.

So instead of feeling despondent or hopeless let us all realize that there are many easy things that we can all do. And the lets go ahead and start doing it now...

No worries, no fears!

My brother sat in the kitchen with my mother- haggled and tired, no doubt... but he said his words with such reassurance, and such firm faith- that it reminded me of the true beauty of being a Muslim.

He calmly told my mother that he would have to accept it if his little daughter died, since our beloved prophet (S.A.W)  lost children too. He said that at least, in that event, his little girl would wait for them in Jannah.

Alhamdulillah, that never did come to pass. But his words reminded me that we, as Muslims, truly have no worries. No matter what bothers us and no matter how bad our situation may be, we have such wonderful reassurances that allow us to understand that no situation is too bad. (Unless you lose your imaan- coz that's bad!)

You see Allah always watches us, rewards us for our patience, and forgives us for all our mess-ups. even if we're facing a mountain of problems, if we put our complete trust in Allah, ask Him to ease our way, and bear it with patience then we can convert those problems into everlasting reward (talk about turning straw into gold!!!)

We have such amazing role models from our wonderful past who have suffered so much more than we could ever imagine. These people faced ridicule and scorn, rumors and lies. They shed blood, sweat and tears for their imaan. And it was these same people who were the beloveds of Allah. So maybe the pathway to Allah is streamed with thorns along the way. And maybe if we can overcome those thorns with patience and obedience, then maybe we can reach our ultimate goal.

I know that when we are faced with problems its hard to stay focused. But its at those times that we need to take a break, remember our Allah, beg sincerely of Him and then bear it with patience. And then, of equal importance, when our problems go away we need to remember that it is that same Allah that we called upon, who has responded to our calls.

So the next time you find yourself in a bind consider this: Maybe your problem, if you deal with it in a manner that Allah will be pleased with, can be a means of obtaining Allah's reward. Think about the benefits that you might receive for it in the Hereafter. Think about how Allah will reward you if you patiently bear those problems all the while remembering your Creator. You too can turn lemons into lemonade- except that its lemonade for the Herafter!

image from: http://www.matadorrecords.com/matablog/2008/06/23/lemonade/                                                                       

Proud to be a Muslimah

Surely we must all realize that times are getting tougher. What with bans on niqab and hijab, with abuse and insults being hurled at Muslims on a day to day basis, and with the blind hatred that seems to only be increasing- Being a Muslim these days is becoming more and more challenging. Now, more than ever, we need to hold on to Islam with everything that we've got. We have to strive, we have to fight, and we have to keep on trying. Though everything is slowly changing, our beautiful deen remains constant, the sunnah way, remains constant- and our Allah remains, as He always will, ever Watchful- All seeing.

So what are we made of then? Imagine if South Africa becomes like all those other countries; what will we do? If they begin to assault us- physically and emotionally, simply because we are dressed as Muslims, will we feel embarrassed to dress like that again? Will we be afraid? Or will we walk with our heads held up high- knowing that our faith will prevail? Its not just a hypothetical scenario- rather its a reality that might come to pass. What are we made of? Consider that carefully. Are we proud muslimahs? What makes us proud? What makes us love our deen?

I am proud because I know that my deen is the only deen with Allah, and that the rewards from my Rabb, far surpasses anything imaginable in this transitory amusement of a life.

Why are you proud?

What do you love about your deen...?

Sound off below if you will!

Watch your words!

The other day I went with my mother to visit a sweet, little old lady. (no really- she really is sweet, little and old!!!). As we were leaving she enquired as to whether I was married or not and, on telling her that I wasn't, she spoke such beautiful words of encouragement. She said that its no problem; that I should take my time and choose the right person; and that Allah will give me exactly what I want! (See, I told you she was sweet!).

Now consider this in contrast to other people's comments. When they see someone unmarried they make remarks like: "When is it your turn. You must get married now!" I mean surely they have to realize that everybody wants to get married. Sometimes people just cant find the right person, things just don't work out, and Allah just didn't will it yet! Surely they've got to think that by them asking silly questions and making silly remarks, it will only make someone feel worse! I don't know, maybe that's the problem there- they just don't think!!!

I think that deep down (deep, deep, down for some people who make it a point of hiding it) everybody wants to get married, have children and settle down- men and women! But its because of people with all their silly remarks that those unmarried people are forced to make claims like: "No, I'm not ready for marriage", or "Marriage is just not for me!" Marriage is for everybody. Everybody wants it! How do I know this. Well, because these same people who make these claims end up getting married the minute they find someone great!

It makes you think. Words are so important and can have such an effect on the lives of others- an effect that we cant really foresee. Just these few sweet words from this old lady left such an impression on me. Imagine all the stupid things people say just so that they can make conversation. What kind of effect will those words have on others?
So if there's any messge that we should take from all of this, its that we should watch our words! What lasting effect they may have on others- we will never know!

Weekly Wise Words: A road to travel on...

Sometimes we forget to remember

My Internet was down for more than a day. Man that was frustrating! I felt lost without it. I mean these days I usually do everything with the Internet. Any info I need, any key word searches- with Internet at my fingertips I'm tuned in to the world around me. Not to mention my constant blogging and emailing. So to have no Internet for like a day or so- it really felt so weird.

But then it got me thinking! Last year this time I didn't even have broadband Internet. I hardly used Internet- I used to check my emails from my phone, and I used other resources for daily needs. How did I become so dependant on it soo quickly? How could I feel so lost without it when, up until recently, it wasn't even a part of my daily life?

That's life, I guess... We get accustomed to things so quickly and we begin to forget the time when we never even had it- and I guess that's when we begin to forget what a big favour it really is. Because all of life's little conveniences- they really are favours that Allah has bestowed upon us. Its so easy to forget that. Its so easy to take things for granted. And when Allah gives us those little reminders (like when your Internet goes down) that's a wake up call to show you that it really is a gift. And its a reminder that we should be grateful for all that we have.

So here's hoping that you and I all remember the numerous favours that we have been fortunate enough to receive. And here's hoping that our eyes are always open wide enough so that we are able to see those favours and acknowledge the generosity of our most Supreme Creator. Insha-Allah

Weekly Wise Words: The Importance of Modesty

"Verily, modesty and faith are related to each other; when one of them is taken away, the other is also taken away."

                                                      Bayhaqiy