I thought that I'd share this with all of you. It sounds awesome...
Sisters, every girl or woman, no matter what your status is, when you decide to wear Hijab or progress to a stage of higher Hijab, the decision is not always as simple as should be. Yes, it is part of our Islam to adorn the Hijab, but many of us, especially those of us who live in the Western world, do not wear any form of Hijab. No judgement on any person, Allah is the judge and we should support each other and guide and teach one another to become better people.
To think back, there were always a lot of questions I had, and always thoughts of doing the right thing followed by my whims to not give up my so called “Freedom”. But once I came back from Umrah Allah shukr, everything became really simple, but I kid you not, I still had a fight ahead of me. There were days of frustration, that I felt that my face looked a little fatter, or that my scarf made me look really clumsy and that it did not blend in really well with my different environments.
What really helped was talking to other ladies, those who already adorn the Hijab and those who were thinking of doing it. Together we shared our experiences, triumphs and glory days, there were also the bad days, which get even lesser as the days go by and you get stronger. That’s when the fun kicks in, it’s amazing, and yes Hijab can be fun.
Appreciating the journey of wearing hijab made me want to do something where other sisters could also begin to appreciate their own journeys. After much pondering , Allah (SWT) guided me towards a fellow Muslim sister and together we came up with this fantastic idea about a blog called, “Hijab Diaries”, where you can tell us about your experiences, share or ask for advice, and this is especially wonderful for our youth, and to promote Hijab amongst them.
So here you go sisters please take advantage of this blog, it’s your platform and opportunity to be heard and to help others in need.
Sister’s each one of us has our own “hijab story” to tell, how we came to wear hijab, what motivated us, what it was like, how people reacted to us and so on and so forth. This is the place for you to share that story. Please send your stories to hijab.diaries@gmail.com and insha’Allah we will post it on the blog. You can follow the link below to get to the blog:
http://www.hijab-diaries.blogspot.com/
This blog is for all Muslim sisters, it is all of ours so we would love to see many stories posted.
So off you go and start writing your story, and we will do the same!
By Zeenat Sirkhot in association with Zarina Hassem
April 21, 2010
April 20, 2010
She's at it again!
Check out Jennie Ridyards response to all her responders.
Her latest colum is called 'facing off to the hidden truth'. To read and leave comments visit: http://www.citizen.co.za/index/article.aspx?pDesc=122603,1,22
Her latest colum is called 'facing off to the hidden truth'. To read and leave comments visit: http://www.citizen.co.za/index/article.aspx?pDesc=122603,1,22
April 19, 2010
A cure for stress
There are times when you feel like you just can't take it. Too much work, too much pressure, too much problems... Its time like these when you start doubting yourself, you feel emotional, you feel drained, you snap at everyone (and then feel bad about it later). You can't concentrate in your salaah, your problems overwhelm you and you just don't know what to do. Yip, we all go through it every now and again. what can we say, we're human right??? Well, I have just the solution... [hmm this is beginning to sound like an advert :) ]Simply read this: Innaa lillahi wa innaa ilayhi raawji'oon (To Allah do we belong, and to Him do we return)
Sounds familiar- well it should. It just so happens to be that wonderful verse of the Qur'aan that everybody recites when they hear of someone passing away. But there's a misconception there- this verse is not just for when people die. No, it is rather for any time that any one of us are faced with any difficulty. Wonderful right? The solution is so easy. We don't need to stress and freak out, and we shouldn't let our problems get the better of us. Instead we should just recite this simple verse- and then turn to Allah (SWT) for help!
I'm telling you, and I'm speaking from experience here- it really helps!!!
When I feel crazy stressed out, I try to do the following and it always helps. Sure, we all slip up and handle our stress wrongly every now and again right? (My poor sisters usually have to bear the brunt of this!)- but next time try the following:
- Talk to Allah. Cry by Allah. Tell your Creator all your problems and beg for help. (just the crying and the talking will already make you feel better.) When you can talk to Allah- why talk to anybody else?
- Read the above verse along with the verse which meaning is " Allah is sufficient for me." I'm telling you, when you read this and you have a firm belief that Allah will help you- Allah will help you! Insha-Allah Ameen.
- Try to read Qur'aan. When I read Qur'aan I try to, just for that moment, abandon my worries and focus on what I'm reading. When I do this its like a wave of calm washes over me and I instantly feel better. Try it and you'll see. (Better yet go and read (and understand) the complete verse that the Aayat above comes from. It's in Surah Baqara ( Surah 2) Aayat 156. You'll see how truly beautiful it is.
- Know with absolute certainty that you are capable of handling whatever you are going through (this knowledge can get you through anything). Know this for sure because Allah has stated, something to the effect, that Allah does not place on a man a burden that he cannot bear. So that means that if you're going through it, you can handle it.
- Trust that whatever difficulty you face it may be a blessing in disguise. Through your patience you may be able to attain reward. How beautiful is that?
So next time you feel overwhelmed and just plain down frazzled, try some of the above! Insha-Allah it will work for you as well as it works for me!
April 15, 2010
Weekly Wise Words: When In Need...
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said: "(Every) one of you should ask his need from his sustainer to the extent that he should ask Him for salt, and for a shoelace when it breaks."
April 13, 2010
You gotta see this...
Ok, so I usually like to keep these posts light-hearted, and I don't like to take it, or myself, too seriously. But its articles like the one below that really irks me out. Ok, fine- I understand that everybody's entitled to their own opinion- and this is what the article is, opinion and not fact. But still, I think that writers like these need to open up their minds before they open their mouths. Now I know that talking about it is actually giving the article and the woman far more importance than is due, but I think that we, as Muslim women, all need to know what others out there are thinking. Ok, so what am I going on about? Well, read the following article and then see for yourself...
This article appeared in yesterday's (Monday 12 April) Citizen Newspaper.
Peering out from a prison
Jennie Ridyard’s column appears in The Citizen every Monday.
Some days – spotty days, wrinkly days – I want to put a paper bag over my head; indeed, some people would recommend a plastic one, securely tied...
However, a paper bag is not acceptable daily wear, and neither is a balaclava unless you’re robbing a bank, because hiding your face smacks of subterfuge and threat.
Even hoodies are banned from some shopping malls because they obscure the face, that vital tool of human communication, under standing and recognition.
So why should a veil be acceptable to us then, simply because it carries its own quasi-religious untouch- ability?
Now, I’m all for the freedom to wear exactly what you choose and to express your religion as you see fit, but hiding a woman’s face to express some patriarchal notion of piety is not freedom of expression at all.
No, it is the stultifying of expression, the smothering of discourse, the concealing of a person – a woman, always a woman – and her feelings, thoughts and opinions as if she were a secret or jewel or object and not a valid, equal being.
A veil obliterates a woman. It robs her of her face – pivotal to human interaction – and also of her very identity.
The veiling of a woman diminishes her just as much as strip bars and centrefolds do, because both actions imply that she is purely a thing of lust and carnality; that her very existence is sexual; she is merely a creature of physicality – whether on show or under wraps – and not a whole, complex person to be judged by intellect and character.
And the oppression of women under the guise of the Islamic religion is abominable.
The Qur’an does not demand it at all. It asks for ordinary modesty, but while decency is one thing, alienation and imprisonment in a fabric tomb are another entirely.
The warped ideology promoting burkas does not value women’s rights at all, and too often women are forced to wear the veil under threat of acid attacks, beatings, stonings, insults and even murder.
Veiling is a bedfellow of a Taliban-like obsession with erasing a woman, taking away her voice, her face, her vote, her education, her right to health care, a job, a life, to choose for herself, to go where she will, to do what she wishes and thinks what she dares. It takes away her humanity.
Put on a veil, sister, and you might as well put on a shroud.
taken from: http://www.citizen.co.za/index/article.aspx?pDesc=121818,1,22
Offensive, right??? Now you know why I'm going on. Seriously, who does this woman think she is? She writes under the guise of trying to free oppressed women, trying to give a voice to voiceless women- but she is, in fact, taking away the voice of so many women who decide to veil themselves- by writing her own opinions on a subject she clearly knows nothing about. Let her give the veiled woman a voice, let her sit down and talk to one of these woman for at least 5 minutes before she makes her own judgements. Let her ask her what her opinion is and why she has decided to veil herself- perhaps then she will actually know what she is talking about!
So what do you guys think about the article? Hit the comments below!
This article appeared in yesterday's (Monday 12 April) Citizen Newspaper.
Peering out from a prison
Jennie Ridyard’s column appears in The Citizen every Monday.
Some days – spotty days, wrinkly days – I want to put a paper bag over my head; indeed, some people would recommend a plastic one, securely tied...
However, a paper bag is not acceptable daily wear, and neither is a balaclava unless you’re robbing a bank, because hiding your face smacks of subterfuge and threat.
Even hoodies are banned from some shopping malls because they obscure the face, that vital tool of human communication, under standing and recognition.
So why should a veil be acceptable to us then, simply because it carries its own quasi-religious untouch- ability?
Now, I’m all for the freedom to wear exactly what you choose and to express your religion as you see fit, but hiding a woman’s face to express some patriarchal notion of piety is not freedom of expression at all.
No, it is the stultifying of expression, the smothering of discourse, the concealing of a person – a woman, always a woman – and her feelings, thoughts and opinions as if she were a secret or jewel or object and not a valid, equal being.
A veil obliterates a woman. It robs her of her face – pivotal to human interaction – and also of her very identity.
The veiling of a woman diminishes her just as much as strip bars and centrefolds do, because both actions imply that she is purely a thing of lust and carnality; that her very existence is sexual; she is merely a creature of physicality – whether on show or under wraps – and not a whole, complex person to be judged by intellect and character.
And the oppression of women under the guise of the Islamic religion is abominable.
The Qur’an does not demand it at all. It asks for ordinary modesty, but while decency is one thing, alienation and imprisonment in a fabric tomb are another entirely.
The warped ideology promoting burkas does not value women’s rights at all, and too often women are forced to wear the veil under threat of acid attacks, beatings, stonings, insults and even murder.
Veiling is a bedfellow of a Taliban-like obsession with erasing a woman, taking away her voice, her face, her vote, her education, her right to health care, a job, a life, to choose for herself, to go where she will, to do what she wishes and thinks what she dares. It takes away her humanity.
Put on a veil, sister, and you might as well put on a shroud.
taken from: http://www.citizen.co.za/index/article.aspx?pDesc=121818,1,22
Offensive, right??? Now you know why I'm going on. Seriously, who does this woman think she is? She writes under the guise of trying to free oppressed women, trying to give a voice to voiceless women- but she is, in fact, taking away the voice of so many women who decide to veil themselves- by writing her own opinions on a subject she clearly knows nothing about. Let her give the veiled woman a voice, let her sit down and talk to one of these woman for at least 5 minutes before she makes her own judgements. Let her ask her what her opinion is and why she has decided to veil herself- perhaps then she will actually know what she is talking about!
So what do you guys think about the article? Hit the comments below!
April 12, 2010
Change can be good!
For years my father used to love the same old tea. Lemon Tea. It was all he ever bought. Day in and day out he would drink that exact same flavour without changing or getting tired of it.
The other day he went to the shop and bought a few different flavours. (He had previously tried some different flavours but I guess none of them ever stuck.) Now we stood and laughed at the different varieties that he had brought home- cherry, green tea, lime- there was no way he was gonna enjoy these flavours right? My sister and I even joked about how we would enjoy the cherry flavour but how we didn't think he would like it. "Oh well", my sister- the resident tea maker said. "We might as well give it a try right?"
To our great astonishment my father really enjoyed the cherry tea. He enjoyed it so much that when my sister gave him his good old lemon tea the next night- he didn't like it anymore. Yip, his beloved lemon tea now waned in comparison to the delicious cherry taste... who would've thought???Ok, so I'm not just telling this story because I have some weird storyteller compulsion. Rather, once again, I took a lesson out of a silly little incident. From it I realized that while we are all usually apprehensive to change, it can sometimes bring about surprisingly wonderful results. Its natural to be afraid of the unknown, but if we never embrace the unknown, how will we ever truly know anything...?
I hope I can remember this lesson and use it next time to remind myself that while change may be weird and scary- it may just be better than what I could have ever imagined.
April 8, 2010
Weekly Wise Words: Planting for the Hereafter
"No Muslim plants a plant or sows a field, and birds, men, and beasts, eat therefrom, but it is his almsgiving."
Bukhari, Tirmidhi
April 5, 2010
Judging others
Posted by
Katz
at
1:19 AM
Labels:
Advice,
Improving our Character,
Life Lessons,
Life's little anecdotes,
Thoughts and views
The other day I bumped into an old family friend. She wasn’t dressed in what I would call modest clothing- and wasn’t wearing hijaab either. Obviously I never said anything but I clearly did notice how she looked and thus, a thought or two clearly must have gone through my mind.
A few days later we had this shindig by my house and she came along with her father. Now even though I really hate judging others, I must have judged her in some way or another because I was actually surprised when she spoke passionately about taking care of her father and of trying to attain Jannat. Here was this girl who didn’t always wear abayas and scarves, and yet she was striving to look after her father and spoke beautiful words about working towards trying to earn Jannat.
Sometimes we have this tendency to think that those who dress modestly and wear hijaab and niqaab are better Muslims. We tend to look at those who don’t dress this way as if they are somehow lower. Now I’m not saying that it’s all right to wear skin tight jeans and no hijaab! Ladies, you know you gotta cover up right! Instead I’m saying that we have to stop judging our Muslim sisters.
If you look around you might see that the one with the best manners may not dress as modestly as you do. On the other hand you might see that the niqaab clad sister has terrible manners and treats people badly. Who can judge which one is better? Surely only Allah can. It’s about time we stop judging others- thinking that we’re better just because we do so and so and this and that. We should all remember that only Allah knows and should rather leave the judging up to Him. Don't you all agree???
A few days later we had this shindig by my house and she came along with her father. Now even though I really hate judging others, I must have judged her in some way or another because I was actually surprised when she spoke passionately about taking care of her father and of trying to attain Jannat. Here was this girl who didn’t always wear abayas and scarves, and yet she was striving to look after her father and spoke beautiful words about working towards trying to earn Jannat.
Sometimes we have this tendency to think that those who dress modestly and wear hijaab and niqaab are better Muslims. We tend to look at those who don’t dress this way as if they are somehow lower. Now I’m not saying that it’s all right to wear skin tight jeans and no hijaab! Ladies, you know you gotta cover up right! Instead I’m saying that we have to stop judging our Muslim sisters.
How many times do we pull our noses at one of our sisters and silently judge that we are better than them? How many times to we criticise what others have done- without even knowing what we would have done in a similar situation? What gives any of us the right to think that we are better that anyone else...? Allah is the only Judge, and only He knows the insides of us all.
If you look around you might see that the one with the best manners may not dress as modestly as you do. On the other hand you might see that the niqaab clad sister has terrible manners and treats people badly. Who can judge which one is better? Surely only Allah can. It’s about time we stop judging others- thinking that we’re better just because we do so and so and this and that. We should all remember that only Allah knows and should rather leave the judging up to Him. Don't you all agree???
April 1, 2010
Weekly Wise Words: The Answer to all our Problems
Verily We have fully explained every type of subject matter to mankind in this Qur'aan. However, most people have chosen not to accept.
Surah 17, Aayat 89
Finding Faults
Posted by
Katz
at
12:32 AM
Labels:
Advice,
Improving our Character,
Life Lessons,
Thoughts and views
You may have heard this one... or maybe not.
There were 4 men reading salaah in a Masjid when the Muezzin walked in and called the azaan. The first man broke his salaah and said: "Is it time for azaan already?" Then the second man broke his salaah and criticised the first man fro breaking his salaah. To that the third man replied (after having broken his salaah too). "Why did you comment?" and finally the fourth man broke his salaah and said: "At least I wasn't a part of this argument."
Ok, so its a silly little story, but if you really think about it you'll see that its really meaningful. It teaches us that we should not criticise others, because by criticising them we are in fact harming ourselves and our own good actions. Had these men just left each other and focused on themselves, then they wouldn't have spoiled their own salaah.
The thing with all of us is that we are so busy finding fault with others that we don't even have the time to see the fault within ourselves. Because really, if we actually spent our time trying to correct and better our own deeds, we really wouldn't be noticing and picking apart others. You see it everyday, people criticising the clothes that others are wearing, while they themselves are not dressed properly; people commenting on the conduct of others, while they themselves have bad manners and people finding fault with others, when their own family members are far worse. Whats wrong with us. When are we going to stop finding fault in others? When are we going to pay more attention to our own flaws and less attention to the flaws of others?
Whats worse is that we don't even have the power to change others, we can only improve ourselves. so while we out there trying to fix everybody but ourselves, we fail to realize that the only people we could ever really fix is ourselves! Maybe we should seriously consider this next time before we begin to judge and criticise others...
There were 4 men reading salaah in a Masjid when the Muezzin walked in and called the azaan. The first man broke his salaah and said: "Is it time for azaan already?" Then the second man broke his salaah and criticised the first man fro breaking his salaah. To that the third man replied (after having broken his salaah too). "Why did you comment?" and finally the fourth man broke his salaah and said: "At least I wasn't a part of this argument."
Ok, so its a silly little story, but if you really think about it you'll see that its really meaningful. It teaches us that we should not criticise others, because by criticising them we are in fact harming ourselves and our own good actions. Had these men just left each other and focused on themselves, then they wouldn't have spoiled their own salaah.You know that old saying? When you point one finger at someone, 3 fingers are pointing back at you!
The thing with all of us is that we are so busy finding fault with others that we don't even have the time to see the fault within ourselves. Because really, if we actually spent our time trying to correct and better our own deeds, we really wouldn't be noticing and picking apart others. You see it everyday, people criticising the clothes that others are wearing, while they themselves are not dressed properly; people commenting on the conduct of others, while they themselves have bad manners and people finding fault with others, when their own family members are far worse. Whats wrong with us. When are we going to stop finding fault in others? When are we going to pay more attention to our own flaws and less attention to the flaws of others?
Whats worse is that we don't even have the power to change others, we can only improve ourselves. so while we out there trying to fix everybody but ourselves, we fail to realize that the only people we could ever really fix is ourselves! Maybe we should seriously consider this next time before we begin to judge and criticise others...
March 29, 2010
Arranged Marriages and Proposals
I always understood arranged marriages like this: That the girl in question is like a special princess who has would- be suitors coming to see if she would possibly consider marrying them. Sure that would- be suitor would see if he wanted to marry her too; but it would in no way seem demeaning to any party. Why is it not like that???
Instead you have the girl feeling self conscious and awkward. She feels that admitting that she wants to get married is an admission of embarrassment- that it automatically classes her as desperate. That men coming to see her is demeaning and embarrassing. Why?
Ok, so maybe its because she has aunts and family members warning her not to talk too much or seem to clever lest she frighten the guy away; or maybe its because she constantly has to hear of how she is getting older and needs to get married before her biological clock stops ticking; or maybe its because she naturally wants to look and do the best because she does indeed want to get married; but, and this is important, surely its not in her hands at all. Think about it for a moment.
I still believe that we are the princesses with potential suitors seeking to marry us. Call it naivety or just optimism. You decide!!!
Instead you have the girl feeling self conscious and awkward. She feels that admitting that she wants to get married is an admission of embarrassment- that it automatically classes her as desperate. That men coming to see her is demeaning and embarrassing. Why?
Ok, so maybe its because she has aunts and family members warning her not to talk too much or seem to clever lest she frighten the guy away; or maybe its because she constantly has to hear of how she is getting older and needs to get married before her biological clock stops ticking; or maybe its because she naturally wants to look and do the best because she does indeed want to get married; but, and this is important, surely its not in her hands at all. Think about it for a moment.
Whether the guy thinks she’s just not right, or she thinks the same of him; whether she trips and falls flat on her face; whether she appears too smart, too dumb, too loud or too quiet; surely she will only end up with the guy if it was meant to be. Maybe if she could realize this simple truth; if she could understand that all she had to do was make an effort (a non-stress effort) and then put her firm trust in Allah- realizing that all only happens by His will; then surely that poor girl would be able to take a breather. You can’t change your decree. The pen has already dried. But since we have no knowledge, all we can do is try our best, Obey Allah, and then trust that that Merciful Creator will give us what is best.
Oh, and please don’t feel embarrassed to admit that yes, you do indeed wish to marry. Don’t even be afraid to admit that you’re nervous. I’m sure that guys are just as scared and nervous as the rest of us. And even if a guy is coming to propose for the 100th time, it still shouldn’t embarrass you or make you feel bad about yourself. Things will only happen when they’re meant to happen. I still believe that we are the princesses with potential suitors seeking to marry us. Call it naivety or just optimism. You decide!!!
March 25, 2010
Weekly Wise Words: Positive Attitude
If you have tried and failed a hundred times, your efforts would still have won incalculable gains. The feeling of disappointment and pessimism and of losing heart should never occur.
The promise of Allah is true and will come to pass. Always adopt a hopeful and positive outlook.
Be an eternal optimist.
Taken from: In the Early Hours by Khurram Murad
March 23, 2010
Never mind the shoes
A few days ago my family and i complained about how people steal shoes from the masjid. I mean really, its laughable that you have to lock your shoes in a locker when you go to pray. Your shoes... come on!!! We ranted and raved about ridiculous people who go through great lengths to steal shoes (to be fair though, the price of some shoes can actually pay for a full week's meals); we spoke about the inconvenience, the crime and the matter in general. It must really be a nuisance to come out and find that your shoes are missing.
Last night when my brother returned from Esha he informed us that a man, who was leaving the Masjid, had just been shot and killed. All of us were shocked and silenced. This had happened just down the road from our house right outside the Masjid that we all knew so well. And as we started talking about it, exclaiming our sadness and surprise, my father said the very thing that i had been thinking: "never mind the shoes". In comparison to a life, who cared about the shoes? In comparison to a murder, who cared about the shoes?
When incidents like this occur it really puts things into perspective. It makes you suddenly question what truly matters, it makes you wonder about your own life and it makes you appreciate your loved ones.
It makes you consider what you would do if your father, your brother or your husband just didn't come home one day. And it makes you realise how truly connected we all are when you can feel sadness for a man and a family that you had never met before.May Allah grant him Jannatul Firdous Insha-Allah and allow this incident to serve as a reminder to all of us; a reminder that we should focus on what truly matters in life, and forget about the shoes.
March 18, 2010
Weekly Wise Words: How to walk on earth
Surah Bani Israeel (17) Aayat 37
And do not walk haughtily on earth. You can certainly not tear the earth open, nor can you reach the height of the mountains.
Its fun being a girl!
Is it just me or is fashion for girls just so much better these days? When i was a teenager, finding pretty and modest Islamic clothing was more complicated than a space mission. Really, im being serious too! Most times i had no other option but to resort to shopping in the boys' section( where i was sure to find long loose tops). Now when i look around i see that things really have changed. (What, you mean there's more than one way to tie a scarf!!!)In the past it wasn't so easy to purchase beautiful abayas, scarves and cloaks. Yip, all those shops in Mayfair and lenz- they weren't always there you know! And the ones you could buy- lets just say it was a rather poor selection.
These days you don't have to travel far to get the most beautiful Islamic fashions from all over the world. From stunning scarves to colourful dresses; attaining a beautiful Islamic dress is much more possible than before. And if you want to wear pants and skirts- well these days there are actually beautiful and decent blouses that can accompany it. There's even a range of sleeves and under-scarves that you can match up with your outfit. Even for a plain Jane like myself, being a girl these days is so much more fun. What with beautiful modest clothing, gorgeous colourful headgear, and modest and practical swimwear; I guess we really don't have an excuse not to dress decently anymore! And i, thankfully, no longer have to shop in the Men's department! :)
Images from:
image 1: http://silkscarvesforwomen.com/
image 2: http://www.missabaya.com/2009/04/new-arrival.html
March 14, 2010
Envy
You know it, I know it... we all know it! Sometimes its hard not to look at others with envy and jealousy. Especially when what you envy is something you've always wanted. So how do we deal with envy, and for starters- what is envy?
1. The first category is that wherein you feel envy and hatred for someone to such an extent that you actually try to remove that bounty from her. You cannot bear to see her with her good fortune and you probably sit and devise schemes to help you in you effort.
2. The second category is when you desperately try to get that bounty for yourself. You feel that you want what that person has, and not only do you hope that she can lose it, but also that you can rather have it.
3. Then there's the situation when you don't act on your envy but you are aware that you are envious, and you are neither ashamed nor displeased by those thoughts. basically, your jealousy doesn't bother you.
5. You recognize your envy and you try your very best to remove it- whether by seeking Allah's help, chastising yourself constantly and even going as far as to be extra nice to that person (in attempt to combat those negative feelings). This is probably the best stage of envy since the envier is actually taking steps in order to remove it.
Abu Hurairah said that Rasulullah saw said : "Beware of envy, for envy devours good (deeds) like fire devours firewood". ( Abu Dawud )
image from: http://www.clipartguide.com/_pages/0808-0710-1617-3417.html
Envy can best be described as wanting what others have, even to the extent that you begin to secretly wish that they could lose it. Envy ruins good relationships and severs the ties of sisterhood. After all, how can you love someone when you secretly envy all their good fortune...? The problem with envy is that we tend to forget that all that good fortune has been bestowed to that person by Allah. So when we envy them what we are really saying is that we are unhappy with Allah's decree, and that's not good at all!!!
In reality envy make us sick- i mean literally, it actually makes us sick. A heart full of envy is like a diseased heart and you can easily notice the person who that heart belongs to. That person is usually unhappy- always complaining about their current situation; they are always looking for fault in others; and they never seem to have peace and contentment- well, that's what a diseased heart can do to you!
I know that's its difficult, sometimes you cant help feeling a twinge of envy for something that someone else has- but trying to restrain and prevent that envy from spreading- that will then be our test. So when you see that your frenemy's got something new and cool that you really like- DONT speak bad about her; DONT try to find fault with what she has and DONT try to make her feel bad about herself! Rather be quiet; swallow your feelings; talk to your Creator and try to be nice to her. Sounds like a good remedy, yes?
Here's a quick little checklist for you. Scholars of Islam have categorised different categories of enviers. so when you think that you might possess a little envy, do a little check to see where you're at. Then at each different moment keep checking to see how far you've progressed.
1. The first category is that wherein you feel envy and hatred for someone to such an extent that you actually try to remove that bounty from her. You cannot bear to see her with her good fortune and you probably sit and devise schemes to help you in you effort.
3. Then there's the situation when you don't act on your envy but you are aware that you are envious, and you are neither ashamed nor displeased by those thoughts. basically, your jealousy doesn't bother you.
4. You feel envy for someone but you really don't like that feeling. In this case you know that your envious feelings are wrong and you dislike it in yourself. (This type of envy is not considered as sinful;)
5. You recognize your envy and you try your very best to remove it- whether by seeking Allah's help, chastising yourself constantly and even going as far as to be extra nice to that person (in attempt to combat those negative feelings). This is probably the best stage of envy since the envier is actually taking steps in order to remove it.
Abu Hurairah said that Rasulullah saw said : "Beware of envy, for envy devours good (deeds) like fire devours firewood". ( Abu Dawud )
image from: http://www.clipartguide.com/_pages/0808-0710-1617-3417.html
March 13, 2010
This time its not my fault...
For anyone following this blog you will have noticed that the look has changed- again!!! This time though, its not my fault. Unfortunately My old template got messed up (as you may have noticed) and i was forced to get a new one. So that's that!
Anyway, the look is not what really matters, its the content, right?
Anyway, the look is not what really matters, its the content, right?
March 11, 2010
Welcome to Weekly Wise Words!
Assalamu Alaikum and welcome to the first ever edition of Weekly Wise Words. So this is how it'll play out: Each Friday (Or Thursday Night) a new Weekly Wise Words post will go up. The post will be either a hadith, Aayat or just simply, wise words. What i hope is that we can all read these simple wise words and try to make a positive change in our lives. May Allah (SWT) grant us all knowledge and allow us to become better Muslims. Insha-Allah.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
"Do not be people without minds of your own, saying that if others treat you well you will treat them well, and that if they do wrong you will do wrong. Instead, accustom yourselves to do good if people do good and not to do wrong if they do evil."
- Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1325
- Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1325
March 8, 2010
Reflection
Posted by
Katz
at
4:37 PM
Labels:
Advice,
Improving our Character,
Life Lessons,
Life's little anecdotes
A simple family moment left me with a very valuable lesson...
My nieces and I were playing dress up the other day when the younger one (4 year old Ayesha) got hold of my surma. Needless to say she liberally began applying it to her eyes- a task which she thoroughly enjoyed. Now i don't need to tell you what she looked like- what with being a 4 year old and all.
Since she didn't have a mirror nearby she didn't know how weird she looked, and even though everybody else kept gasping and laughing at her, she was oblivious to the sight of her face.It was only when she looked at her own reflection (by accident as she passed by a window) that she finally realised how she looked. She was so surprised at her reflection that she excitedly exclaimed: "What happened?" It was in this moment, while we all laughed at her, that i was taught a very valuable lesson.
It takes true self reflection to understand and realize what we really look like.
Just like how we could all see what Ayesha had done to her face, others can see our character. And just like how she was oblivious, we too are sometimes unaware of our own flaws. We have to actually look at ourselves clearly, examine our characters, examine the situations we find ourselves in, and examine people's attitudes towards us; in order to understand the type of people that we are.
I have a creed that i have lived by for many years now, and I'd like to share it with you. When someone tells me something hurtful i carefully consider what they've said and begin a process of self questioning. The hurtful statements may either be right- in which case i examine my actions and try to rectify it; or they may be wrong- in which i case i simply shrug it off and try very hard not to let it bother me. You see while people may sometimes be very valuable in helping you to understand the type of person you are; they can also easily break you. So next time, take my advice and try this for yourself.
I think that its important for all of us to constantly be engaged in a process of self reflection. We certainly won't leave the house without first checking how we look, so why spend another moment without considering how we look on the inside and what our characters and behaviour is saying about us...? Real self-reflection can tell us what we're made of, and that's a lesson I'd love to learn.
Abu Darda (radiyallaahu 'anhu) said that Allaah's Messenger (salallaahu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said:
There is nothing which is heavier upon the balance than the good character
Reported by Ahmad (6/446 and 448)
March 3, 2010
Women and Knowledge
Has anybody else noticed how 'education' is sometimes seen by some people as a bad thing? i think that its because education and knowledge has gotten mixed up with terms like modernity and feminism. Ok so seriously let me clarify, females getting education is NOT a modern thing!!! I probably don't need to go back into the history of Islam and relay the stories of all the wonderful, knowledgeable and educated females; scholars of fiqh, hadith and Quraan. So where has this idea come from, you know- the idea that if you're educated then you must be one of those 'modern girls'? Its like people automatically think that if you have a university degree then you probably don't know how to be a good wife. I understand that people may feel that after gaining an education you might be a little too preoccupied with a high-powered career; but that's a generalization- don't you think?
Personally, i don't belong to any stereotypes out there. I'm an educated woman who has chosen not to pursue a career and decided to stay at home. So as for the stereotype of the 'educated working woman'- i just don't belong. And while i am capable (insha-Allah) of being a home-maker, i also happen to have knowledge and a valuable opinion. So as for the stereotype of the simple minded housewife - i don't fit in either. You see this is the beauty of Womanhood and the beauty of Islam. It doesn't ask me to belong to any stereotypes- I can just simply be me. It is only other people who come along and try to fit us into boxes.
Ok, so let me get back to my point of education then. Knowledge and the pursuit thereof is important in Islam- and yes this applies to women too. We should constantly try to seek knowledge; knowledge of Quraan, knowledge of our deen and even knowledge of the world around us. Knowledge doesn't mean a 9 to 5 job with weekends off. Knowledge also doesn't mean a university degree. Knowledge can be gained from the comfort of your house, or from the houses of others. With all the books and resources we have available at our fingertips, and with the most Glorious Quraan in each of our homes- we really have no excuse not to constantly be engaged in the pursuit of knowledge. So here's hoping that we can all be a generation and an Ummah of beautifully knowledgeable and capable young women!!!
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 74
Personally, i don't belong to any stereotypes out there. I'm an educated woman who has chosen not to pursue a career and decided to stay at home. So as for the stereotype of the 'educated working woman'- i just don't belong. And while i am capable (insha-Allah) of being a home-maker, i also happen to have knowledge and a valuable opinion. So as for the stereotype of the simple minded housewife - i don't fit in either. You see this is the beauty of Womanhood and the beauty of Islam. It doesn't ask me to belong to any stereotypes- I can just simply be me. It is only other people who come along and try to fit us into boxes.
Ok, so let me get back to my point of education then. Knowledge and the pursuit thereof is important in Islam- and yes this applies to women too. We should constantly try to seek knowledge; knowledge of Quraan, knowledge of our deen and even knowledge of the world around us. Knowledge doesn't mean a 9 to 5 job with weekends off. Knowledge also doesn't mean a university degree. Knowledge can be gained from the comfort of your house, or from the houses of others. With all the books and resources we have available at our fingertips, and with the most Glorious Quraan in each of our homes- we really have no excuse not to constantly be engaged in the pursuit of knowledge. So here's hoping that we can all be a generation and an Ummah of beautifully knowledgeable and capable young women!!!
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 74
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